Kirsty Mckenzie
IT is Mother’s Day in Spain this Sunday (don’t worry, you still have time to order those flowers if you haven’t already! Consider this your friendly reminder).
And while some people still choose to celebrate the UK dates if your mum has been living in Spain for the last few years, she may expect a card to mark her big day.
After all, a woman as special as your mum deserves two celebrations anyway!
We’ve compiled our own list of eight things that we think make an Expat Mum.
How many apply to the number one lady in your life?
She can talk for Britain – and Spain too
She may have lived on the Costa del Sol for six years and complete a Duolingo level every evening, but your dear mum’s Spanish is still un poco terrible. But that doesn’t stop her from chatting to everyone under the sun, using whatever scraps of language spring to mind. A little Spaneglish, some Danish picked up from the neighbours, a sprinkling of schoolgirl French, she can talk all day long.
She’s love a G&T
This could be any day of the week, any time of day but if the sun is shining your mum loves nothing more than a healthy pour of her favourite gin in a glass as big as her head. She doesn’t try to order it in Spanish – she’s been here long enough the local bar tenders bring it to her as soon as she takes her seat.
She could work for MI5 if she were given the chance
If you went to a Spanish school, you may think you can keep things away from her by speaking Espanol. But don’t be fooled! She still understands everything. This woman never misses a piece of gossip, whatever the language. Central intelligence is missing a trick if they’re yet to employ your mum.
She is a terror on the roads
Expat Mums are absolute professionals when it comes to most things. She can negotiate with the banks, hospitals and school at lightning speed but somehow she still can’t get a grip of driving in Spain. But despite years of practice driving on the right hand side, she’s still a terror on the roads. And don’t even get us started on her parallel parking.
She’s a feeder
She will not let you see her without a feeding. You drop by your local Taberna for a quick cafe con leche but, before you know it, you’ve got a bottle of wine and gambas pil pil heading your way.
She doesn’t hold back when it comes to ordering, always requesting a second, third or fourth serving of tapas. Any ‘no thank yous’ will be shot down no matter how full you are or what time your next meal is. The Expat Mum is safe in the knowledge that you never go hungry in her company.
She has a sixth sense when it comes to putting the washing out
Who needs the weather forecast when you’ve got an Expat Mum? Just one look at the sky is all she needs to decipher whether or not she can get her laundry out or get a washing line out. And if there is even so much a drop of rain, she can bring it back in before you can say the word rapido.
Even in the winter – if the sun’s out in Spain, so is the washing. That’s why she bought a place with a balcony after all!
She’s lived in Spain for years, but she’s still British through and through
She turns lobster-red when the sun first hits the Costa del Sol – but assures you it will turn into a golden brown tan eventually. She hangs out with pensioners eating tea and cake, or always knows which chippies sell saveloys and pickled eggs. And she has a weakness for Chino stores selling naughty postcards and British bars bearing poor puns: 007: Licence to Grill anyone?
And lastly, she’s simply the best
Even though she sometimes drives you up the wall there’s nobody to beat your Mum. Whether she’s back in her hometown or making pals in her adopted home, she’s loved wherever she goes. She’s always there to pick up the phone and help you at the drop of a sun hat. Make sure you shower her with love this Mother’s Day so she knows exactly how special she is.
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