Joshua Parfitt
Weather has been awful, eh? Yes I know an understatement – so I have decided to leave that subject to those braver than I, who have been out filming in it this week.
January is a pretty naff month all in all don’t you think? It starts off with the manic popping of corks, fireworks, cava-fests and hugging strangers, but then slowly slides downhill from the time you feel real accomplished, having managed to swallow that last grape without choking and having to call Mr Heimlich to come and perform his manoeuvre.
Before being fully recovered from the New Year hangover, we are ploughed, once again, into fiesta mode!
Having almost run out of decent clothes to wear, we scramble through our wardrobe to find something suitable to greet the Three Kings, by which time, we may know the date, but we have no idea what day of the week it is!
And then, despite all the drama, somewhere in the back of our mind we know that someday soon we have to go back to work.
Not to worry, though, we have one more day to find a calendar that does not contain chocolate and get back to reality.
Waking up on 6 January, it is D-Day! Time to get that enormous washing pile started, eat the last portion of Christmas Pud, throw the stale stollen in the bin, locate that last toffee stick from between all the empty wrappers in the tin of Quality Street, command Alexa to stop the ‘Jingle Bell’ loop, and finally… argue a bit with Alexa who does not understand your new command and immediately launches more freakin’ Mariah Carey!
Then, when all you have set out to accomplish is done, the realisation hits you that today is Twelfth Night!
The lop-sided tree is still partially standing there grudgingly winking at you and the bloody halls are still decked!
Oh how I hate that day… by 6pm, the twinkles are removed, the decks are bare, the cat is sulking and you have no idea how all this lot will fit back into the allotted cupboard.
So back to the real world it is… let me think… did I make any resolutions? How much weight have I put on? What is my bank balance? Who is the UK Prime Minister right now? What is my password to Javea Connect? Have I still got any gin left ? Oh hell… and to top it off, all we have to look forward to on the day this grotty month ends is…well…you know!
Wished, I had talked about the weather now!!
