Staff Reporter
RESTAURATEURS need to be reactive chameleons.
Let’s start with the rapid decline in lunch business these past two weeks due to those whose golden tans are paramount over Joffrey’s culinary delights.
Lunch service has therefore been ditched in favour of our new Tapas Platter & Wine offering from 4pm when the sunseekers’ have had their fill of Vitamin D.
The good news is that Joffrey is getting more of a lie in – well apart from the daily 9am wake up call from the fruit and veg man, who still hasn’t adjusted to the new regime.
My month has been a whirlwind of organising events, most of all the Royal Wedding luncheon. Bunting, flags, large TV screens and incessant new recipe tryouts for what else than – coronation chicken.
I won’t bore you with the details except to say I had a recurring nightmare that the internet would be down on the Big Day.
Spanish internet works much like the Royal Family itself. Slow to react and when it does can be resistant and inconsistent.
My credit card machine, which relies on our internet provider, had one such evening a few weeks ago and failed to engage in my pleading.
Not many people carry cash these days, so I spent the whole night squirming behind the bar pointing in the direction of the nearest cash machine.
Next up is the Classic and Sports Car Show and Luncheon planned for June 23, ‘planned’ being the key word.
I duly submitted my plans to the Mijas Foreigners Department who were the epitome of charm and helpfulness till I got the ‘list’.
Subdeck: The List
This is a list of things I need to accomplish before said day. Needless to say Theresa May has it easier with Brexit.
On a brighter note we have had somewhat of a grand Irish invasion this month.
This includes my good friend Helen Martin, a socialite from Irish Tatler, gracing our crisp white linens and supping fine wines, while we enjoyed some delectable gossip from home.
Then dear Jerry McCarthy, a notable celebrity photographer, joined us with his sizeable entourage.
His sister thanked me for the ‘best meal she had ever had on the coast’ and I was beaming from head to toe.
Pigeon plucker
July 14 ushers in Bastille Day and if you saw us on Channel 4’s ‘A New Life in the Sun’ you will know this featured heavily in the series with an eight-course degustation menu.
When the pigeons arrived frozen last year, Joffrey started imitating a French style Gordon Ramsay and he was caught on camera throwing said pigeons around the kitchen.
What you don’t know is that after much bribery via g&t’s for the camera crew this was thankfully edited out. Merci dieu!
This year will be a much simpler four-course affair, sans pigeon, with accompanying live entertainment. I would love to proffer you the menu but Joffrey is still perfecting his deconstructed prawn cocktail for the wedding.
And yes, even the strawberry and apple crumble will have mini Union Jacks per cruet. Nothing can go wrong, can it?
Well except we just had a water leak. Two plumbers later and endless vexing discussions in Spanglish and apparently we need a lorry with a suction machine to rectify the problem.
This is the DAY before the Big DAY. Mon Dieu! Will the linens arrive? Will the fish be fresh?
This is Spain and after all, life’s a beach….
