16 Jan, 2016 @ 16:42
1 min read

This New Year, resolve to put yourself first …

martina willis e

martina-willisTHE old year is gone and the new one is here. What is your resolution for this year?

What about your commitment to yourself? Being the most important person in your life? Putting yourself first on all levels – body, mind and soul?

Does that sound selfish? On the contrary, only when we are well balanced ourselves can we be there for others without any underlying agenda. Only then are we capable of showing them the way, without needing or wanting something in return so we feel better.

As we grow in knowledge and wisdom, we come to understand that no one can give us what we appear to lack, (love, the attention of the partner etc) except ourselves. If we feel that lack, we know we first need to turn inward to fill the perceived void before we can retrospectively show others the way.

So first commit to yourself in 2016. Then your life will change.

Next time, when you do something for somebody else, ask yourself why. Is it because you expect something back? If yes, be aware you are on dangerous ground as you just set yourself up for huge disappointment and resentment in the future.

Expecting something in return, especially in a relationship, is one of the prime reasons it can fail as we expect our partner to fill the gap. How often do I hear: ‘I do all those things for him/her but he/she is never there for me.’

Question to self: Are you there for yourself? How do you expect others to attend to your needs and desires if you neglect them yourself?

Or maybe you think you need to do something for somebody else so you feel a ‘good girl/boy’? Beware, you are skating on thin ice. You will never be able to make it right for all of the people all of the time.

Only if you feel that you are a ‘good girl/boy’ at the very core of your being can you be free to assist others with no hidden agenda. Then you become a real asset, wholly concerned with their issues, not subconsciously mixing them in with your own and projecting it back on them.

I wish you a spiritually prosperous 2016, when awareness becomes your power and authenticity your key.

Martina Willis (Columnist)

In a new, colourful column, Martina Willis describes her transition from a boardroom boss to the owner of an Andalucian wellness spa

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