I GET a firm grip of my bag, take a step back and make a break for it, except I don’t get far.
The next thing I know I’m slammed against a car door by three men and dragged helplessly across the road in a headlock, heart racing. They take my passport and my bag and throw it in the back of their black car.
But these weren’t any old road-side robbers, these were the men whose job it is to stop them; the Guardia Civil.
This unbelievable (but somehow true) episode began when I was dropped off on the outskirts of Estepona, at a roundabout off the A-7.
A ‘policeman’ approached and asked to see my identification, I said I live here but happened to have my passport on me so went to get it out.
But at that moment it dawned on me that this was just a normal man wearing a fluorescent jacket, and the car behind him just a normal black hatchback.
So to put my suspicions to bed, I withheld my passport momentarily and asked if he had ID. At which point he grew angry and lunged for the rucksack on my shoulders.
And there and then I made the decision to get myself to a more public place, a place where other cars would be around. I did what came naturally, and legged it. Except I didn’t bank on two other men diving out of the car and straight for me.
The next thing I know I’m slammed against the side of a car and head-locked forcefully. This is it I think, shouting for help and wrestling with my attackers…
As it later transpired – after some heated discussions – these actually were policeman, keeping an eye out for anyone trying to dodge the road block just out of sight.
As it also transpired, I was not a drug-laden fugitive.
My bag contained only my passport, camera and a brand new pair of orange swim shorts. Things which I am not willing to hand over to just any old person who approaches me with a fluorescent jacket on!
And did anyone subsequently apologise Ian O’cent? Thought not. So it is pointless to ask for I.D. just give up your goodies to ANY goon in a high-viz vest, because, cop or not, you’ll still get hammered.