The McMichelin experience

NORMALLY, I’d rather fast than eat fast food. If Ronald McDonald himself gave me a year’s supply of free Big Macs I’d tell him to ‘burger off’ and go fry himself.

Other people have food allergies. I have intolerance to plastic cutlery, meat served in Styrofoam boxes and mayonnaise of any kind, unless I know exactly what’s in it.

It was with these misgivings that I found myself down at our local Golden Arches last week to investigate the shocking rumour that Dani Garcia has designed a burger for McDonalds.

That’s THE two Michelin star chef Dani Garcia. And it’s all true! Yes, I was Mcmystified too, as to why he’d hitch his stars to a brand that’s not exactly top of the food chain when it comes to gastronomy.

The Grand McExtrem BiBo Burger is a mouthful just to order. That’s McDonalds, Extramadura beef and Dani’s BiBo Brasserie in Marbella, all crammed into a pretzel bun (garnished with Iberian cheese, Batavia lettuce and crispy onions).

Being an out-and-out Garcia groupie, a gal who’d do anything for a chupito of Dani’s cherry gazpacho, it had to be tried! Even though it was tanking with rain and we had to battle with bags of chips and plastic beer cups (because that’s what it comes with, whether you want it or not – this is the complete McMichelin Meal Deal).

We brought cameras too, to take a picture of the bun on the poster as it should look but never does (and certainly wouldn’t when we finally got it home, past the cat and onto the dining room table for its close-up). We didn’t want to eat it in situ as Los Palmones Industrial Estate doesn’t have quite the right ambience for Michelin dining.

At €6.95 – only one euro more than a Big Mac – the price is cool and at least the box is made of natural materials (cardboard). The burger didn’t look too off-brief either, although why the pretzel bun has a cross in it (like a hot cross bun without currants) remains a Mcmystery.

Well, I had to eat my words and lick my fingers, because it wasn’t at all bad. The bun was a bit spongy so I’m not sure about the pretzel logic (if Steely Dan fans will excuse the pun); but the Extremadura beef was extraordinarily good, with a char-grilled flavour, and the cheese had a pleasant, smoky taste. The onions and lettuce were soggy but you can’t have everything.

Compared to a Big Mac it’s a star turn, but maybe not a two-Michelin-star turn. I’m not sure what people are expecting for the price but there have been some pretty scathing comments on the social network forums, reinforcing my view that the Grand McExtrem BiBo Burger will do more for McDonalds than Dani.

I’d go back for more though… except that now I’m one hot cross bunny because, according to our Golden Arches guy, it will be off the menu by the time you read this.

The promotion finishes at the end of March, just before Easter – the very season for hot cross buns, which is just plain McDaft. Perhaps I should write to their marketing department and demand they resurrect it!