Rund Abdelfatah
THE opportunities for alfresco dining may be greater here than in Britain, but that is all the more reason certain precautions should be taken when it comes to good garden etiquette.
According to the Middle Class Handbook, your garden furniture reflects your social status and the classic white plastic chairs are a definite no-no.
“Alfresco dining is about beauty, nature, lightness of touch. These are the opposite,” the guide explains.
Oiled hardwood, powdered aluminium, and ornate cast-iron dining sets are on the other hand perfectly acceptable.
“Doily-like, they conjure up cream teas and scented herb gardens, chilled wine and English roses.”
The guide, which also writes off chairs with cup holders as complete mood killers, can be viewed at www.middleclasshandbook.co.uk
The REAL tips for alfresco dining:
1) Sit at dining table OUTSIDE.
2) Eat whatever food dishes are served without complaining
3) Drink Spanish wine WITH and AFTER meal
4) Burp
5) Complement your Host(es) for BEST meal you’ve ever had
6) Burp
7) Enjoy a Pacherand over ice…. burp
8) Drive home most QUICKLY, before Guardia catches you
9) Upon arriving home…. burp & tell her you love her!